This is My Fist. This is My Fist hitting Your Face!
That is how the new guy makes me feel.
For those of you who don't follow CBS111, you don't know about The New Guy. TNG is here to replace this bastard. Now I know what you're thinking, "Oh J-Bird, cut him some slack!", "He's only been here for 5 weeks!", "Giiiiiirrrrrrllllll, don't hit him! You'll get jail time!". But I'm here to tell you that he makes me so frustrated that I actually "Mommed" him. Yes, y'all! Mommed.
He has pulled from me my inner parent and I actually forbade someone from helping him. Why, you ask? Well, why what? Why did I Mom him? Because the fool don't listen. Why did I forbid him from getting more help? Because I'd already given him explicit, written instruction on how to accomplish his goal. And that was AFTER standing over him and watching him open all necessary files and forms AND THEN walking him through it AND THEN writing down the final steps including the information for the woman who receives all the information he has collected.
That's why he got mommed!
Because if I didn't mom him then I was gonna slap the taste out his mouth. Do you know he had the audacity to suck.his.teeth.at.me. I heard him! I wanted to get my ergonomic roll on and karate kick his ass.
He's a rude, arrogant, SOB that doesn't have the knowledge to work an excel spreadsheet. Like I said to him earlier, he can second guess himself all he wants but I'll be damned! if he second guesses me. I don't tell him things because I like to hear myself talk and I don't tell him things that will get him in trouble. I tell him things because that's the way that they're done. And the sooner he realizes that the sooner I'll stop wanting to kick him in the teeth.
And he thinks he's going out with me? Amongst my friends? You see what he thinks is: that he'll be invited and magically "forget" to call him "friends" and then I'll have no choice but to let him hang out with me and mine. But what he doesn't know is that I will embarrass his no-friend- having ass in front of everyone I know. Reference.
I'm sorry. To put that last paragraph in perspective you need to know that he texted me on Friday night wanting to know if I was going out with my friends. He wants me to let him know the next time I go downtown so he can come and hang out. I can tell you this much, he doesn't want to act a fool around you when I'm drinking. It won't bode well for his self-esteem.
Dear Pickup Truck:
13 hours ago