Fitness Friday!

Right here, right now, I was going to start a new theme day. One unique to this blog. It was going to be called "Fitness Friday". And I was going to do it every Friday with the help of this trainer

and his blog. I was so excited to bring it to you because he is the Owner and Operator of his own gym, Mind Over Matter Fitness, LLC. It was supposed to start today because I am all about starting at the beginning and the 1st is tomorrow and so in my mind it makes sense.

But I am sad to announce to you that said trainer

has not yet had the ability to begin posting on his own blog yet. This, unfortunately, means that we will be delayed. But keep the faith, Bloggies, I will be bringing you fitness tips as soon as I can. And I hope that they will inspire you to get in shape/stay in shape/find your fit!

Remember, that its all about

Not Another Theme Day

I see that Random Thoughts Tuesday is all the rage. I am not a follower and I don't think I can handle another theme day; one is exhausting so I will post for you "What's on J-Bird's Mind: A Frightening Look Into Her Inner Sanctum". You're welcome.

Why are boys/men so stupid? Here I am, freaking out because I'm over 25 and this is the age that I promised myself that I would settle the eff down and focus on having a family and they have the audacity to question my ability to commit or to say crazy shit like "It's not a question of if I want to, but rather, should I". I almost hit his face with my fist.

Family secrets hurt. I have one that I kept for almost 11 years. I told Nat on Sunday and you know what? It didn't make me feel any better. It's been so long that I've held this secret that that part of me is dead now so it's almost like it didn't make a difference. At least not to me. To her it meant everything.

CBS111 can go to hell for the song she just put in my head.

Lying and cheating are unacceptable. Even if you're my father. So when you say that you're with your girlfriend and you're not leaving her, then you say you went on two dates but its' not cheating I become confused. I don't care if she's doing two more tours before she comes home. Cheating is cheating. So don't give me this crap about how the two of you broke up before she left because I don't believe that either. Liar face.

My mom is on Facebook and even though she could write the app that the entire system runs on she can't figure out how to accept your friendship.

Grammy calls Facebook "Faceplace" as in, "J-Bird! Did you know that you're on Faceplace?".

I've started to use clinical strength deodorant. I'm only posting this so that the rest of you chronic sweaters will realize that there is no shame in accepting help. My pits have been so dry that at first, I thought I had a hormone problem. It's nice to feel normal for a change.

I made the Scorpio a cake and sent it home with him. Now, I want my plate back.

Someone called me today and they were having sushi for lunch. I actually cried because 1. I don't trust sushi in this state. Where could they be getting the seafood from as we don't have any bodies of water. 2. I'm at least 20 minutes from a good sushi bar. 3. The thought of Kroger sushi makes me mentally throw up.

Jealousy is not a good color on me.

I had a dream about what my baby would look like. And I called her Frankie. I miss her even though she's not here yet.

I'm back in the candle business because people want to buy from me and I believe that you should give the people what they want.

I almost had sex on Friday. I say almost because I totally freaked out at the thought of having sex with someone. It's been awhile by choice and I didn't want to ruin my "No sex without monogamy" streak over some piercing green eyes. It's pretty bad when you grab your top and say, "No! I can't do this"

Him: *chuckle* Ok.

Me: I'm serious.

Him: Why?

Me: It's been months.

Him: *chuckle*

Me: *blink*

Him: Well, it's like riding a bike. I'll show you.

Me: I want monogamy. I want to be in a relationship with the person I'm intimate with.

Him: *gets off of me*

It just occured to me that Mother's Day is in less than two weeks and all I could say in response to that was, "Ain't that about a bitch!".

Friday Foodie

Hello Beautiful Bloggies!!

I have a special treat for you today. I'm sure you know how much I love food, especially snacky food. That's why I feel a need to share another fantastic, low-calorie snack with you.

Have you ever had a ridiculous craving that was almost impossible to satiate? Do you find yourself wanting sweet, salty, crunchy and chewy all in one? Have you ever been on the brink of setting fire to your kitchen because it couldn't meet your need? Ok. Well maybe that last one is just me.

But if you answered yes to any of these questions, then I have the perfect snack for you.

It's the Special K Cholcolatey Pretzel Bar.

Yes, it tastes as good as it looks.

Yes, it has the perfect balance of crisp and salty pretzels to chewy granola and semi-sweet chocolate.

Yes, it's only 90 calories!

Yes, I bought two boxes and put a security system around them. I won't share.

Trust me, peeps. I know what I'm talking about here. Even if you can't get down with the comedic stylings of Allie at Hyperbole and a Half, I'm sure we can come to an agreement on this fantastic little snack.

Thankful Thursday

Another week is almost passed and I would like to reflect on all the positive.

Today, I am thankful for:

• the renewed relationship with my sister


• friends who make eharmony fun instead of daunting


• list making. it's not really my thing but it is incredibly helpful when faced with tough decisions


• all the people who support my craziest ideas


• the chance for new beginnings


• and finally, hope for a better tomorrow


• oh! and friends who don't have sisters but who can still be understanding about that kind of relationship (You know I love you, Mrs. G!)

Theme Days

A friend of mine who also has a blog does what she calls "Thankful Thursdays". And I'm thinking it's time I get a theme day of my own. I want something catchy and positively upbeat. So, I'm off to the thesaurus. Not because I don't have a vocabulary extensive enough to meet the requirements of this task. But rather, for the sole purpose of finding a word that starts with M. I think that using Monday for my positive day would give a fantastic start to my week, don't you?