Sometimes, the last thing you want in life is to spend time with someone who seems to have everything you want in life.
I spent five whole days with Averi and her little family - husband E and toddler Claire - and I thought it would break me. That seeing her in her tank tops and pedal pushers lounging in the backyard with peach daiquiri in hand and Claire running through the Elmo sprinkler on a Friday afternoon would leave me in tears.
I worried that watching her interact with the man who knew he loved her before he ever held her hand, the man who got up every morning and worked hard to make their ends meet, the man who told her that what he needed most was for her to be home taking care of him, their house, and their daughter would fill me with rage.
I was afraid that being around that much love and trust and respect would make my life feel empty. But I didn't feel that way at all. I felt hopeful, confident, and encouraged that I could have that too. And that's nice to think about.
I learned a new word.
4 months ago