Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
A lot went on and I could spell it all out for you but I'm tired and so, you will get a bullet list. You're welcome.
- Arrival and introductions. Hugs all around. He is shy.
- Tour of the house. He is in awe of all the stuff that April and Rebecca have.
- He is in awe that April and Rebecca don't have to keep their rooms immaculately clean.
- He is given a task; learns how we earn our keep at Mom's house.
- Mom has to explain that she's joking and he can eat regardless.
- I show him pictures and notice that he is sad.
- We do a project together and he's nervous because he's never built anything before.
- We finish half of project before dinner.
- He eats at table with most of family. I eat downstairs so I can watch UFC fight.
- He never comes downstairs.
- I go up and find him talking 100 miles an hour to Mom.
- I stay for a few minutes and then go back downstairs.
- I go up for dessert and he's still talking to Mom.
- Mom comes downstairs, Ethan follows.
- I watch Platinum Weddings and get excited.
- He mocks my excitement and hand gestures.
- Pillow fight started by me.
- Pillow fight ended by his superior strength and possession of all pillows.
- I advise of appropriate wedding attire and his role in my wedding.
- He threatens to "crap on stage" or get "the BGs" aka "Bubble Gut" if forced to be an attendant.
- I pout.
- He does not concede.
- I threaten and demand.
- He does not concede.
- I punch him in the gut.
- I win.
- I use the word bedazzle.
- Ethan mocks me and makes the bedazzling motion for 2 minutes elaborating on all the colors he's going to add to my dress.
- He takes Mom's side and agrees that I should have reception in back yard.
- Then he takes my side after Mom leaves the room.
- He jokes that he will raise his hand when they ask if anyone protests the marriage.
- I turn several shades of purple.
- He's just kidding.
- He says he won't dance with me.
- I tell him I'll kill him if he doesn't get on board.
- He changes subject to kids.
- I tell him my baby names.
- He mocks my boy name.
- I give threatening look.
- He lets it go.
- We go and find Mom.
- Take our first pictures together since he's been here.
- He almost drags me down.
- I whine because it looks like I have 3 chins.
- Ethan and I leave so Mom can get sleep.
- We watch two movies together that I've never seen so I can "step [my] game up"
- I find that I actually enjoy "Stomp the Yard"
- He is proud that he could teach me something.
- He turns on his iPod.
- I laugh hysterically because R Kelly declares that he "wants to toss your salad!"
- We sing loudly and off key.
- Birds chirp so I take him to his aunts house.
- He tells me to date more black men because my body is built for them.
- I hug him and try not to cry.
- He tells me that he loves me too.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
But it didn't start out that way. It started out going really well. And then, at the place where I stopped being in control and let others take the lead, it all fell apart. That's all I take responsibility for: letting others control a portion of the situation.
Yesterday was Ethan's last Saturday in Ohio and I have been promising to take him to the club for weeks. Maybe even months. But he's been talking about it for weeks.
I was supposed to go pick him up at 9:15p. But he wasn't ready and his aunt offered to drop him off at the club we were going to.
I was supposed to be the DD and get us all to and fro but Natalie offered to drive. Now, I don't know if you read this post but I obviously did not have the money to buy drinks. So, I was pre-gaming up a storm.
Natalie showed up at my apartment at 11:30. Ethan had been waiting for us for over an hour. And all she had to say was, "Well, if you didn't want to wait then you could have left without me". It took everything in me not to hit her, if only because she tried to whisper it thinking I wouldn't catch her backhanded remark.
But that's how she is. When she doesn't really want to do something but doesn't want to be accused of not participating, then she does everything she can to sabotage it. Like taking back roads to get to your house; turning a 15 minute drive into a 30 minute journey. Or saying she needs to go to an ATM first. Or that she hasn't eaten and is going to get food before she gets there. Or by offering to be the DD for everyone, including people who drove to my house, therefore packing the car but not even cleaning it out so that we could all fit. Or claiming that she can't read my hand-written directions. Or waiting until we are lost to pull out her GPS.
I should have known better than to trust her. I should have not taken even the tiniest drink because then I could have been on the road to my brother and perhaps saved the evening. I should have reminded myself that the reason she and I don't live together anymore is because I couldn't depend on her to give me simple things, like rent.
But, of course, this isn't her fault. I should have left without her. My directions were bad. And I knew she didn't get off work until 10p.
Let me tell you what I did know, I knew that Ethan asked her personally on Friday to come and she said yes. So she knew that she would need clothes, food, and money when she got of work but she didn't have it.
And I know this too. I'm not apologizing for the things I said to her because I'm not sorry.
She says she's tired of putting up with my attitude and writing it off as me just being myself but I'm tired of being chastised for having expectations of her.
Last night was ridiculous.
Last night was bullshit.
Last night was completely embarrassing for me.
Last night I accepted that I'd be better off without Nat in my life.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
That couldn't have been right, so I rolled back over, closed my eyes and started again.
When I opened my eyes, I saw money.
I closed them very tightly. Rubbed them a couple of times. Refocused and this time I didn't see money. I saw MONEY. A stack of twenties.
I bolted upright and looked around. It was my room. I was still dressed. My night clothes were all intact. So where in the hell did this money come from? Is there a money fairy? Because I've been praying to her for a long time and I'm not complaining 'cause the chick picked a great day to show up.
Reaching out, I grasped the money in my hands and began counting.
One, two, three, four, five,... twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.
One, two, three, four, five,... twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.
Six Hundred Dollars.
SIX HUUUUUNDRED DOLLARS!
My heart leapt. I smiled. I frowned.
I can only think of one person who knew that I needed six-hundred dollars AND had the means to come up with it within twelve hours AND would be willing to give it to me.
I was holding his ticket to North Carolina in my hands.
I went to him, crying softly, and poked him to wake him up.
Ethan: *grumble, mumble, mumble*
Me: Wake up.
Ethan: What? No.
Me: Did you give me money?
Me: Did you give me six hundred dollars?
Ethan: Sounds like Christmas came early for you.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It is an approximation of Ethan's outlook on life. He is, in essence, so hood. He didn't go into the military because of his love for country. And it definitely wasn't in support of the war. He went in because he was terrible at school and refused to live at home anymore.
Welcome to the Army.
I always thought that maybe, just maybe, it would change him. Do the things my father didn't do, like teach him how to be a man. I was not wrong.
Last night, I was exhausted. Work took a lot from me and then there was the drive across town to pick him and Cam up. Cleaning happened. (Especially in their bathroom, I can't explain what some of that stuff looked like but it had to go).
Oddly enough, I am a night owl. I could stay awake for days if properly stimulated. But last night, I dozed off in the living room. Ethan told me to go to bed. Twice. I dragged myself to my room and he asked if I already had my alarm set. I told him its on my phone and he could just come get me when it went off. That was my first mistake.
Thursday, March 25
5:30 am: *POUND, POUND, POUND*
Ethan: J-Bird! Get Up! It's 5:30 and your alarm is going off.
Me (to my ears): Ok, gruuuummmmblllee mummblee, get out my room.
Me (to Ethan's ears): Ok, I'll get up in half an hour.
6:14am: *POUND, POUND, POUND* creeeeeaaaaakkkkyyyyy swing. CRASH!!
Ethan: Jenifer! Get Up! It's 6:14.
Me(shooting straight up): What!! What is it! Is something wrong?
Ethan: Only that you said you'd be up in half an hour and it's been forty-five minutes. I'm just saying.
He's lucky that he's 6'4", 250 pounds and around 2% body fat. Otherwise, a fight would've broken out this morning around 6:16. I'm just saying.
- my new shirts from Buckle.
- my shiatsu massager -- OMG, it is that good.
- and, all of you for allowing me to exercise both, my inner gossip and my inner voyeur.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
*Except for my cheerleading video and the 6th grade school picture. Those have been mysteriously misplaced.
I couldn't stop rambling about my debate and speech trophies. Or showing him the trips I went on with the OFEA (Ohio Future Educators of America) and the Recycling Club (I'm such a dork!). Or how I was an editor of "The Matrix" a.k.a. The Coolest High School Literary Magazine This Side of the Mississippi, Sucka!
It wasn't until we got to the bottom of the box of trophies that I realized that he hadn't made a sound. Not one.
He didn't ask one question.
He didn't comment on one picture.
And even though Mom didn't say anything either, I knew she had picked up on it, too.
I was disheartened to say the least. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to fawn over my accomplishments. I wanted him to look into the face of a Salutatorian who was granted a Presidential Scholarship and tell her that he was proud. I wanted him to at least pretend like he gave a damn.
The realization that his approval was not forthcoming hurt me to the core.
I didn't do these things for him, I did them for me. But what would it hurt for him to notice, right?
This is where I have trouble drawing the line. Because even though I knew I wasn't getting a reaction from him, I didn't stop. I kept telling him about my adventures to other countries and my dreams for bigger places. The verbal diarrhea was overwhelming but I didn't care.
It stopped being about sharing my past with him and started being about every father-daughter dance, every boy who broke my heart, every argument I had with Mom, every game he didn't attend, every phone call he didn't make, and the day I finally called him. I had turned it into a contrived effort to force him in to wanting to stick around for my future. Even when I could see the sadness in his face I didn't stop. I didn't stop because I didn't care.
I love my dad. I really do. But there are some deep-seated issues that need to be resolved and until they are, I'm not sure I'll ever give a damn about how he feels because for so many years, he didn't give a damn about me.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I know I haven't posted in days and I apologize.
But I have been using this time to spend with my brother while he's in town. It's weird to realize that you have to "re-discover" who people are when they've been gone for two years.
Also, I went back to work today.
And I'm dog tired.
But there are tens of posts coming your way. I'll probably schedule them out in advance.
So stayed tuned, Bloggies. Some of these are too good to miss!
Friday, March 19, 2010
This is an important revelation because I sell candles to make extra money and I am out of candles.
I am out of candles because I am fighting a war, ladies. I'm sure you're all familiar with this battle. It is the Battle of Man Smells.
Everything for men is just so effing strong!
Body wash, body lotion, after shave, cologne. All of it is just so strong.
When I wash, I wash with a skin-softening, yogurt and honey blend that gives my skin a slight shimmer and a light perfume. Then I spritz on a nice perfume and voila! I am delicately fragranced for my day.
Not so with man smells. And my poor little apartment is as overpowering as a Yankee Candle. I've been burning day and night, home and away, fruity and musky fragrances and I'm still losing.
I wouldn't complain if it was something awesome that I had to inhale all day like any of the Axe fragrances but it's not. Instead, I'm getting Vaseline for Men and Suave and some other store brands. Ick!
My nasal passages are in revolt!
So, today while Dad and Cam are visiting D's dad, I'm going to scrub the guest bath because, at this point, I'd rather smell Comet and Clorox than whatever it is that they are washing with.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
- having a dad and brothers. The run-in with the trainer was slightly embarrassing, a bit comical and very reassuring.
- spinach -- because we've been eating out all week and you know what happens to your digestive tract when you make that mistake.
- family fun time. Including board games, ice skating sessions, and window shopping at the mall.
- my parents relationship with me and each other.
- Noodle's diagnosis. It's pnuemonia but we caught it early and she'll be ok.
- my brother, Ethan. He always makes me feel like I'm number one to him. And my ego really needs that reassurance.
- passports. I'm really excited that I might get to use mine soon.
- my parents understanding.
- the awesome family photos we've taken these last few days.
- having my dad's ears, my mom's temperment and my own sense of adventure.
- the good night's sleep I got last night. It was very much needed.
- the smell of sausage and pancakes coming from the kitchen. This is going to be a good day. =)
Last night, I was dog tired. I fell asleep on the couch watching television. When they woke me and demanded that I go to bed I said, "In a minute" because everywhere I looked something needed to be picked up. Cups, snack bowls, laptops, shoes, coats, the whole nine. They assured me that they'd do it. That I could go to sleep knowing that it would be done and to just relax a bit.
When I woke up there were cups, snack bowls, laptops, and shoes all over my living room. But they had turned out the lights. So, that's a win for me, right? If not, I'm going to take it as one because life is too short. And I'd bet money that they were patting each other on the back for a job well done.
Also, I have t.v. in my living room now! Holla!! This is another bonus to having guys in the house. I gave them the DTV kit and in about 10 minutes I was watching all my fav shows on my big ass screen.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
For those that don't know, a rotator is a military flight that transports troops from one destination to another. And they are bitches to be on. Rotators are horribly uncomfortable, probably don't have seatbelts and leave at the most inconvenient times. Like this Friday.
Ethan's been told that they will not pay for him to take a commercial flight and that if he wants to be on one he will have to pay for it himself. Now, please don't fool yourself into believing that there are special military discounts on commercial airlines. The most you will get is an upgrade.
Back to Ethan, he was supposed to be on the 3/6 rotator but you know how that went and then they told him he would leave today but on Japanese time (so our yesterday). However, that didn't happen so they are putting him on the next rotator, which leaves Friday... and won't get here until Saturday morning.
Ethan's so upset. So much so that if given the opportunity he'd take his frustrations out on an ex-boyfriend of mine... or three.
He's frustrated because the whole family is gathered in Ohio just to see him and he's the only one not here. We'll have to squeeze an entire week's worth of family fun time into two days. Everyone's going home on Sunday or Monday except for me but that's because I live here. I do have to go back to work though. And he'll be sitting in my apartment with no cable, no internet, and no vehicle until the end of the month.
That boy is a true soldier.
Monday, March 15, 2010
She wants... *deep breath*
She wants me to take my brothers, her siblings and their children to go see her father. You know that man she met just three months ago. I just don't understand it. This is something that she really really wants (according to her) but she can't get the rest of them to understand it and to want the same thing. So she's asking me to plead her case and maybe... when we're out... just detour to his side of town and stop by... you know, ambush the whole god damned family.
But the thing is, he's not my family and I dont consider her my family and I dont give a shit if none of them ever see the poor piece of shit bastard. Because the really fucked up part is that even though D is 46 years old and is just meeting this old coot, he lives 8 minutes from the house she grew up in, literally. At least my dad was out fighting wars and being dragged around the globe, ya know?
I know Ethan's not going. He'll probably set me on fire just for bringing it up. *more sighing*
And it's not over. D wants me to go to Lawton, OK to visit her. Because she never had any daughters and would love to do all that girl stuff she missed out on like getting our hair and nails done, mall walking, we might even go to Dallas! *feign excitement*
I don't want to hang out with D. I don't want to know D. I have a mom. She hasn't always been the greatest but she's mine. I just don't understand how I became the official liason for that family. They all have my phone number now and are expecting me at "family gatherings". They want me to call when Ethan gets here because they know he wont make the effort. They want me to come around more often. They want me to replace D as their only connection to dad, Ethan, and Cam. And all I wanna do is live life the way I did before - without them.
Alright peeps! That's all I've got in me today. I'm kinda tired and I lost a container of blackberries. It's driving me nucking futs. But I will be back on here soon and when I do come back I'm going to tell you about the official Atlanta convo with my parents and how they double teamed me and have decided that my foot is not down but just hovering slightly.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
- fitting comfortably into my jeans again.
- my ridiculous sense of humor (my favorite joke is "Interrupting Cow")
- that spring has sprung in Ohio
- that it is almost time for spring training and football will soon be on t.v. again
- EH4. We were just matched today and (SAPPY ALERT) I really really like him already. *fingers crossed*
- vacation days
- my mom's frenchy-english dialect "His is ... how do you say? Good to look at. And very outdoors-y ... yes??" hahahahaha!!!!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Oh yeah! We're taking it back. But this post is less about a fantastic 80's song and more about how some of my "partners" are trying to throw me under the bus in regards to said project. They can suck it. Because if there's one thing my mom has been preaching to me lately it's to CYA or cover my ass. And I've got paperwork coming out my bung hole that proves I've been working when they haven't. So, Ha, Bitches! Ha!
Anyhow, I told her on Saturday and I guess it’s my fault for not making it sound like a definitive decision. Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: Mom, do you remember Palmer?
Mom: Sure, the one with the crazy girlfriend who cheated on him.
Me: Yeah. He asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I talked to some of my friends about it and they’re split.
Me: Yeah. But I’m seriously considering it. I need the change of pace and it would answer a lot of questions I’ve been mulling over for awhile. You know I’ve never liked Ohio and I’m ready to make some changes.
Mom: But you’re not his girlfriend.
Me: Of course I’m not his girlfriend. We talked about it and there are some major boundaries. We even hashed out a couple of major issues but we still don’t agree about overnight guests.
Mom: Well, you need to see it first.
Me: Yeah. (Side note: I say “yeah” to my mom A LOT and ON PURPOSE. When we were growing up, if you answered “yeah” to her question, you would get “YEAH? YEAH? Who are you talking to?” as a response. So now, I say yeah whenever the opportunity arises and sometimes when it doesn’t even apply. Passive aggressive? Yeah.) I was thinking about going in June and I want you to go with me.
Mom: Sure. We can go and then head to the conference*
*”The conference” is something that, according to her, I promised to go to last summer. I don’t believe it but I guess I’m going anyway.
Me: Yeeeeaaaahhh. Fuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk! What the hell conference are you talking about?**
**Italics represent the thoughts in my head.
Mom: Great. We’ll do that then.
Flash forward to last night. Mom called and we had this conversation.
Mom: I told April and Rebecca that you’re thinking of moving. Becca’s not happy about it.
Me: Oh. I didn’t think you would tell them already. It’s not until the end of the summer. Why would you do that?
Mom: Yeah, but I wanted them to be prepared.
Me: For what? I hate you right now.
Mom: For you not being around.
Me: Hmmm… well, there’s the whole summer. And don’t act like you don’t like Atlanta. I’m sure you’ll visit. And now I have to spend the whole summer kissing little kid ass. Thanks Mom.
Mom: Besides, just because he made the offer doesn’t mean you have to accept it. As far as I’m concerned this is just Plan B.
Me: Plan B? What’s Plan A? What the eff?!?
Mom: We don’t know yet. Who’s to say you won’t find something better? You have the whole summer, you know.
You see? I blame myself. I’m not a planner but, I’m also not one to just let life happen to me. The problem with that combination is that I usually jump head first into my endeavors. The good part is my parents have never had to rescue me. The down side is that I’ll usually be ‘stuck’ in something long term just because I don’t have the motivation to change it. I’m lazy like that.
My parents know that I am not a planner. I don’t plan. It’s just not something I do. I’ve never actually managed to save money because I just think of all the things I can do with it right now. When I want something, I want it NOW. If I take time to think about it, it won’t get done. The procrastinator in me will put it off until either the opportunity has passed or I have 8.5 minutes to complete the project.
So, knowing this, why would she expect me to have two whole plans? I didn’t even have one real plan until Palmer called. My “plan” looked like this. See, I disguised them that way so that no one could really hold me accountable for failure. Isn’t that why we make resolutions in the first place? If I was really going to do those things, I would just do them instead of writing them down and procrastinating on them.
Now, I have two choices. I can come up with a Plan A to make her happy or I can tell her that her Plan B is my Plan A and she’ll have to deal with it. Honestly, I think I’ll go with 3. which is to pretend like I’m working on getting a Plan A knowing that Plan B is the only plan and hoping that Palmer doesn’t change his mind because I’ll still be going to Atlanta there’s just the added possibility that I’ll be living out of my car. Yeah, we’ll go with that.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wait! I think it's time we gave him a real name. Not that I use the real name of anyone I know on this blog. That's right. I use fake names, if only because none of them have given me permission to post about them on my blog. Anyways, we're going to give him a name and it will be Palmer. I love the name Palmer. And I particularly like it as a "last name first name". You know, like Smith. Or Harrison.
Back to the story.
Palmer called me yesterday. He called me to say, "Did you find a job yet?" and I had to remind him that I will find a job even if it's at the CVS by the house. That's right ya'll. I google mapped that sucka! To make it short, we had a long discussion about how he shouldn't worry because I will find something. There's a mall filled with shops and restaurants.
During our conversation I got hungry and set my little heart on some french toast. Mmmmm... So I said, "Don't you wish I was living there right now so you could have french toast, too?".
Palmer: "You would cook for me?"
Me: "I'm not gonna play like your girlfriend or homemaking bitch but, if I'm having french toast and you want french toast then it's just as easy to make some for you because I'm already cooking."
Palmer: "I like that you'll cook for me."
This is gonna be rough
I had forgotten how hard it is to live with boys/guys/men. It's been awhile. But I'm rediscovering, already, how they only hear "key words". You know? Like, cook, clean, and the like.
We talked about pets again. He laughed when I told him about my guinea pig. And we decided that there will be a cat-free zone (also, known as the spaces I rent) and a dog-free zone (known as the upstairs excluding the spaces I rent).
And he doesn't currently pay for trash pick up. I know! I know! That's what I said! How is it that you don't wanna pay the $13 a month to have them come and get your garbage? But he doesn't. Instead he puts it in his car and takes it to work and puts it in their dumpster. Whatever. As long as he takes it out and the house doesn't smell like road kill.
Folks, I'm getting super excited. Mom and I are going down there the first week of June to take a look around and so she can put her stamp on it. I'm really amped. It's all happening for real.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars – when I went camping that one time
3. Played in a band – I played the flute! Holla!
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo – 6th grade Christmas play, Bitches!
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping (or in my case… chunky dunking)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (yes, the Wii counts)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (I once was nice but now am jaded)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class (I can turn you into a flamingo)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Hells yeah!)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason (those were the good ol’ days)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (this is one I’m not proud of)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
49/99 equals a hearty 49.4%! Not as good as I wanted but I’ve still got lotsa life to live. Keep your fingers crossed that one day soon I’ll play myself in a movie based on the book I wrote about that time I went into labor while saving a fellow juror’s life.
Happy Sunday Ya’ll!!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Mom: Who never talked down to us as children so that one day we would be intelligent adults.
Dad: For loving all of my dreams, no matter how wild, and giving me the hand to achieve them.
Ethan: For saying stuff like, "Beyonce' fugged it up for all women. You're so independent, buy your own damned dinner".
Natalie: A little light-headed, a touch bohemian, always tactful and forever stylish.
April: For being just like me but better because you actually take others' advice.
Rebecca: For passing out hugs like a Pez dispenser.
Gramma Dot: My sounding board and my constant cheerleader.
Gramma S: For secretly keeping tabs on me throughout my life. I would have never guessed that you knew that much.
Cheerleading Squads: There's no better picker-upper for your self esteem (Way to go April!!)
Without all of you, I'd be a hot mess.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I am sick... a.gain. Just sore throat and runny nose this time. But now I need to go get more cough syrup.
My flow started today. Pissing me off. Messing with my mind and such. Mostly because it's not acting normally. And also because its a reminder that I have no reason to not expect it because I'm not having sex because I don't have a boyfriend. Bastard.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The reality of it is that we have the means and resources to give help to those individuals within our borders. There are food banks, shelters, and medicare just to name a few programs. But aside from all of that, when we needed help, other countries were there for us.
I'll be the first to say that I am suffering from Emergency Fatigue. I'm not sure if this is an actual term but it accurately describes the way I feel everytime I turn on the t.v. and see another telethon. I can't afford my cell phone bill as it is, why would I text you $10?
For me, it's not just about Haiti. It's about the tsunami, Katrina, the housing bubble, the stock slide, Haiti, Chile, and all the other emergencies that have occured. It seems to me that one of two things has take place. Either a) no one thought that it would be a good idea to have a reserve a.k.a. "rainy day fund" for occasions such as this or b) we've got an effing monsoon on our hands. In my opinion, it hasn't stopped raining since 2005.
I think that most of the Americans that are being vocal about their frustrations are just tired. Tired of the unemployment. Tired of the BS going on in Congress. Tired of people with their hands out. Tired of feeling The Man's hands in our pockets. Tired of not having the answers or having that little extra to give.
You might say, "But it's just $10". The reality of it is that I don't have $10. I over spent by $10 last night at the grocery store and now I have to figure out which one of my bills I'm going to short. My mom? She doesn't have $10 either. She'll work a whole month before she sees her first paycheck.
I'm not saying this to make excuses but when you think about it. How many times can you see a starving face before it doesnt affect you anymore? How many refugee camps does it take for you to become callous? Now, for me, it's like seeing panhandlers on the street. I just keep walking.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Yup, I'm sitting here at a pleasingly plump 235. But I'm ok with it for two reasons. One, I don't have the money to eat better. I've been cramming my face full of cheap food for weeks now. I mean, bags of Chex Mix because they were only $1 at the store. And anything free I can get from my Mom's freezer. Two, I'm so much closer to being out of debt it's not even funny. I'm down to three cards with balances. Discover will be paid off on March 12 to the tune of $414.70. Is it crazy? Yes. Stupid? Quite possibly. Freeing? Absolutely.
Sometimes, I wonder what to do to make myself better and I made the mistake of saying this to my Dad. What he said to me was, "Just be thankful". And I was all, "For what?" [sarcastic tone]. And he said, "For everything".
I won't bore you with a tangent on how my life could be worst with homelessness and lonliness. But I will share that I often forget how truly lucky I am. I won't make a pledge to be more grateful because I don't have it in me to fail at something right now. However, if you feel inspired to pledge... well, then I actually achieved something today.
On the dating front, I got an email from a new match*. None of that getting to know you junk for him, just straight through to email. Let me tell you. This guy was Ballsy. He's from South Carolina and already has two kids. Which isn't a big deal to me provided they are between 2 and 7. (Don't ask - that's just my thing.) But his email didn't really say anything great. He did say that I sound interesting. I am. And modest too. And he said to message him back if I thought he was interesting. So, I did, but I asked some questions because his profile was kind of lacking and we didn't go through the many steps of Guided Communication. I'll let you know how this pans out.
*Henceforth known as EH2. As in, eHarmony 2 because he's the second guy I've mentioned to you.
Now, I did meet EH1** on Saturday. I felt like I was in an interview to be a fetal incubator. The idea that I want to have children sometime before I'm thirty seemed to put him off in a bad way. Like that was too vague for him because he wants them NOW. Like, right now. And can't understand why I would wait so long. I had to explain that I would have them before thirty if I found the right guy but I'm not going to say, "Hey. I want kids. And I'm ovulating. You in?" That'd be ridiculous, right? Let's just say that I laughed and he didn't. I'm really hoping that I don't see him again.
**Because he was mentioned first in this post here.
And I talked with Ethan again. He's still on hold but feeling a little better about it. He got propositioned on MySpace. By a dude. I laughed until it hurt. You would have to know Ethan to understand why it's so funny. He handled it pretty well I thought. But I had to get on him about being so damned pretty. I mean, he's 6'4" and 180 lbs. He shaves his pits and has some of the prettiest feet you've ever seen. (If you get to see them, he won't go around barefoot for fear of developing callouses.) I've been telling him for years to bulk up. Basically he let the guy down easy and told him, very simply, that he doesn't feel the same and they can still be acquaintances but when he sees Ethan he "better talk with some bass in [his] voice". I 'bout died.