Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
”Is it his penis?” you ask. Why, how astute of you to notice. Yes, he is the only male in our department and so his goals are different. For instance, I was written up for subpar performance on phone calls, however, I was still averaging more calls for him. Because the Official Goal (as per the company handbook) is 75 calls per day, “Mike’s” goal is “somewhere in the 60s”. I could go on about how sexist this place is, but I knew that when I joined this industry 7 years ago and its part of the reason why this industry will die a painful, horrible death. Although, I’m sure they haven’t checked but women spend the majority of money in this country and you can talk down to me all day long but my greenbacks will spend somewhere else, you heard?
Ahem. Back to what matters.
So, Mike is leaving. And I want to care but all I can do is laugh. They praised him (in 2009)* for selling more generators than anyone else in the whole company’s history. But he didn’t sell them. The entire state of Kentucky was covered in ice; 35% of those sold themselves, 35% were sold by me** to customers that I still had relationships with in KY, 25% were sold by “Charlotte”** to her old customers and the other 10% were sold by the two field reps who spent two days on their cell phones making deals with me and Charlotte. Then they made Mike “Inside Salesperson of the Year” and justified it by saying, “This award is not based on sales calls, dollars or goals but on the attitude of the person and their passion for the job.” Yeeeeeaaahhh. That’s because Mike got his ass whooped by a group of girls.
I hope that this doesn’t come off as me hating on Mike. I don’t wish him any ill. But it’s funny that no matter how much they gave to him it still wasn’t enough. Us girls, we’ve each put in at least 5 years*** here. I guess that shows what loyalty gets you. I really need to get on the ball with this job hunt.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
My mom called me uuuuuupset! Mainly because she hates being downtown. And her new job is downtown. So in essence, she hates her new job.
You know what? That's fair. Millions of people hate their jobs. She's allowed to hate her job.
But you know what she's not allowed to do? Quit! That's what. Sometimes she drives me crazy.
Ethan still hasn't gotten his orders but he's pretty sure that he'll be here by March 6th because he has to report back to base by Aprill 11th. Which would be a fair assessment if we weren't talking about the U.S. Military. So, with all that said, it is cause for celebration. I haven't seen Ethan in approximately 2 years. Maybe three. And I miss him terribly. Out of all my siblings he's my favorite. Like, Natalie is my best friend out of them all but Ethan is just like me! Except he's 6'4" and doesn't have boobs.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
They didn't use those exact words but that's the jest of the email sent to me by eHarmony this morning. Apparently, I'm too picky and I should reset my parameters so that they can find more appropriate matches for me.
They have asked me to clarify things such as distance, age, frequency of smokes and drinks, and even income. But they neglected to ask me about other things that are insanely important (if only to me). For instance, they care about whether or not he has some college but are neglecting to weed out the 5'4" chefs. Height is veeeeeery important to me. I'm 5'7" and very rarely am I without my 4" heels. So 5'4" is not okay.
Or grammar. They neglected to provide the "bar of importance" that measures their grasp of the English language. When I say that I care that my match makes as much or more than I do and that I care to level 7, then one would not imagine that you match me with an "unemploed" construction worker.
And while looks are not the most important thing in the world, I wonder how it is that it took 3 days for them to approve my profile pics and this fool got his posted complete with the essence of shower curtain.
What the fine algorithm at eHarmony is failing to understand is that I would go to the ends of the Earth to find The One. Seriously, I would pack my bags, look my boss in the face and tell him "To hell with you, I love this man". So eHarmony needs to get its head out of its ass and act right! Because I refuse to be judged for having standards, got dammit!
Now, I have upped my required age to 26 (to match my own) (I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt!) and I have upped the drinking and smoking limit (maybe I can change him?), and I told them to just find someone in this damn country.
So, now? We wait.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
(yes, please!) Click here to buy
Yesterday, I wrote an ode to eHarmony entitled "What the Hell - a Poem" because I couldn't get over how horrible some of the matches were that they sent me. But I put it in a helium-filled balloon and let it go. Mrs. G got me straightened out and I messaged two really great guys. *fingers crossed*
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Today, I am thankful for:
- the renewed relationship with my sister
- friends who make eharmony fun instead of daunting
- list making. it's not really my thing but it is incredibly helpful when faced with tough decisions
- all the people who support my craziest ideas
- the chance for new beginnings
- and finally, hope for a better tomorrow
- oh! and friends who don't have sisters but who can still be understanding about that kind of relationship (You know I love you, Mrs. G!)
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
But still, I'm scared. This would be a huge move. I've never left one job without having another. And I've never lived far from everyone I know. I mean, I will be in a city and the only person that I'm going to know is 28. Yikes!!
And even though there is still a lot to hash out like personal space, guest policy, food, chores, quiet time, duration of my stay, notice to vacate and more, I'm leaning d a n g e r o u s l y close to saying yes. But when I told 28 that I wanted to talk about all of these things, he seemed put off. Like he hadn't actually thought about it. But I've been there before where things weren't properly discussed and it resulted in Natalie's "Christmas weekend" turning into 4 months on my couch rent free and then my "roommate" for another two years. And I don't want there to be any misunderstandings.
My biggest concern right now is employment. I'm feeling majorly oppressed at my current job and that's a major factor for why I'm even entertaining the possibility of moving. But honestly, this place has served its purpose in my life and we are waaaaaaaay out of its season.
I still have a lot to think about. I will post the pros and cons in a day or two when I've had time to reflect on them all. Until then, My Lovlies.
P.S. - Dad is not thrilled about the idea in the least but he is still being painfully supportive. He and I have a phone call scheduled for tonight. I'll clue you in on that too.
P.P.S. - Yes, we schedule phone calls in my family. My dad's a nurse for crying out loud! =)
But today, I had a relatively good start. I've gone back to my summertime schedule where I go to bed around 10pm. I find that this is more conducive to my horrible sleep cycle.
Every night, I wake up at least 3 times throughout the course of the evening. Sometimes, it's because the dream I'm having is that menacing. Sometimes, it's because my body hurts (I have a terrible mattress and really should get another). But usually, it's because the dogs are: pinning me down in the covers, lying on a part of me that is now numb, or have burped or farted in my air space. These things inspire me to wake up in a tizzy and command them off the bed and on to the floor where they belong.
Last night, however, I slept all the way through. I'd like to attribute it to the new lavender scented eye mask I found. Apparently, my mom gifted it to me for Christmas... 2008.
Yup, that's right. I've had this wonder for over a year and am just now getting around to using it. I guess it's officially safe to tell you that my room is a cyclone. The rest of the house is clean but my space is just mine. And while I can never find the one thing I'm looking for, straightening it all up is a task I'm not trying to take on right now.
Unless, of course, I step on another squeaky toy. I still won't clean, I'll just shut the dogs out at night.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Happy Singles Awareness Day to all of you that find yourself without a Significant Other this Sunday. Spend the day with friends playing poker, watching movies, drinking wine, exchanging little gifts, or anything else that makes you feel fun and free. Me and my girlfriends are planning a fun little girl's night filled with wine, tapas and Guitar Hero. Then there will be some pampering and a little spa time.
Maybe next year we'll have some of these...
The only thing I regret is not having had breakfast.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
- Thursday. This day in and of itself gives me hope for tomorrow
- Laughter. It makes all the bad things seem trivial
- Hope. Just a little will take you a long way
- Words. Without them life would be an endless game of charades (and I suck at charades)
- Snow boots. Because snow would suck without them
- and finally, for one more pound lost.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
So anyways, all the years that I've been her granddaughter, I've never actually said Happy Birthday to her. I didn't even know when it was. Believe it or not, it's the same exact day as my Dad's birthday! Ha!
Long to short, Ethan totally remembered. And if he can remember and call her on her birthday, then, of course, I must make it a priority lest I spend the first 3 minutes of our conversation apologizing for my inadequacies as a grandchild.
Well, here it goes... Happy Early Birthday Grandma S!
And yes, I will have the decency to pick up the phone and call you.
Monday, February 8, 2010
What I feel for my job can aptly be described as hate. They call me an Inside Sales Associate. But what they mean is Glorified Customer Service Bitch. Because they don't pay me what ISAs across the country are getting for this same job. And they always find a new way to screw me or force me into a pay cut (while never raising my base pay, of course).
And then there's the whole issue with never being backed up. I mean, what's the point in having rules, Terms & Conditions, if we are never going to enforce them. Or the company can't seem to find its backbone and force customers to abide by them. Everyone says that "Rules are made to be broken". But what happens when rules are never followed? You have our customers, that's what happens.
It's funny how they rank us #1 in Customer Satisfaction and declare that we have the most helpful and friendliest staff, but they do the majority of their business elsewhere. This company has been coddling its clients for so long that people have forgotten that something is expected of them in return; their business. Instead, they constantly call in favors that they are not owed and whine when the rules aren't bent just for them.
Or when we won't sell something below our cost just so they can participate in a bid they have no business being a part of. God forbid we try to turn a measly profit so we can continue to kowtow to your adolescent whims!!
Ok, that's enough for today.
Here's to a better tomorrow!
Things I would rather happen than deal with my mother's current husband:
* have a llama spit on my food
* put my foot through a chipper/shredder
* eat Peruvian insects of any variety
* be on an episode of "For the Love of Ray J"
* get back together with the guy I dated from New Guinea
Because after all of the drama he caused at Christmas, you know, by stealing her car, putting
April and Rebecca's gifts in the mailbox, etc., he had the audacity to show up at her house for the Super Bowl.
In all fairness, she invited him. And here's why. They talked and he apologized. To her. But not to me or my sisters or my grandma or everyone else who was brought into their unwieldy mess over the holidays because he's a selfish jackass.
So, yes, as far as I'm concerned he can go to hell. He came into the family room trying to strike up conversation like we'd have anything even mildly constructive or positive to say to him. I was so disgusted that I up and left the room. Being in his presence was too much for me to handle.
Do I feel as though I'm being childish? Not at all. He disrespected the whole family and chose the one holiday of the year that should be celebrated with joy and good will and decided to ruin it by acting like a prick.
And it hasn't escaped me that he only wanted to talk to reconcile their relationship after my mom got her job offer. Just like he waited to propose until she closed on her own house.
I'm still so angry.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
In work news:
I got a verbal warning today about my performance. I want to say that I'm shocked and appalled but I'm not. Really, I'm surprised that it's taken this long as I've been giving only 60% for about 6 months.
I should feel bad, but...
Anyhow, I'm off to the dentist!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I weighed myself this morning and the result is... (drum roll, please)
That's right. The .1 lbs that I lost somehow found it's way back. But that's ok. I started P90X this week. And let me tell you, it is no joke. I'm at the point where the warm-up feels like my workout and I can't even make it through the whole DVD.
Last night was Cardio X. It kicked my fat ass. I was huffing and reaching and kicking and fatigued all without using weights. I never thought of my chair as an adversary until I tried to kick my leg over it. Damn chair. With it's high back. I wanted to break it but my triceps wouldn't cooperate.
I'm not going to lie. These videos are h.a.r.d. But I know it'll all be worth it soon. And no, I haven't started running yet. It's just too cold outside and I don't have winter workout gear. I know, such poor planning.