Beginning to Pack

Today is bittersweet.

As you can see, I am finally beginning to pack to make the transition to a new apartment. P.S. - my dog is going with me! I found a quaint little place on the other side of town that is more than affordable.

Finding this apartment was the hardest thing I've done all month. Anytime I went to look at a place here in this city, I wanted to kick Palmer in the balls. That bastard ass son of a bitch. Whew! Glad I finally got that out.

Here are the details of my new place. It's single story which means no more schlepping 22 bags of groceries up 14 stairs. I get my own patio for maxing, relaxing, and summertime drinking. I get attic storage for all the stuff I'm going to start buying to decorate the way I like. It has built-in bookshelves so I can postpone buying a new entertainment center. And its the 1st place in 6 years to not have a dishwasher. (I'm still trying to be ok with that.)

Of course, I will bring you pics of the new place. I'm too excited not to.

I've used half of my boxes and I haven't started the kitchen, bathrooms, or bedroom. I'm thinking that I'll just cart the clothes over loose. And now that all my DVDs are boxed, there's absolutely nothing to watch on T.V.

I know that living in this new place will make my life easier. And Sag girls like things easy because we don't handle stress, details, boredom, or intense commitment well. Living paycheck to paycheck brings all four of these nightmares at once; making us seriously angry bitches.

So three cheers for my friends who have put up with me being less than my fun-loving, uber-entertaining, go-getting Sag self. I know you miss me and my fiasco-filled stories. Now that my emotional load has been lightened and my purse strings untightened, I can bring you so much excitement.

T minus 13 days!

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It Really Was Worth It

He didn't seem crazy when I met him. And I really should have known better because I never go to Walmart anyway but I only had $10 and I figured that if anyplace would have a variety of M&Ms it would be Walmart. Because it's Girl Week. There, I said it. It's Girl Week and all I really wanted were Pretzel M&Ms. So, I went to Walmart but I don't know where anything is in there so, really I wandered at a high pace.

I made my way back to the snack aisle only to be interruped by a giant man in a red tank top, black shorts, and Adidas water shoes. Yay, me? He asked me three very important questions: Was I married? Was I spoken for? Could he call me? I answered honestly to all three and I gave him my real number!

He said that he hoped to hear from me but then he called me 12 minutes later. In our brief conversation, he told me that he thought that I was following him throughout the store. You know, because I too was still in the food section. Granted, when I finally discovered where the M&Ms are kept in this ridiculously over-sized department store, we did cross paths again. But I was on the phone calling Mrs. G to rant about M&Ms being "seasonal". Because, really? What the hell! And then because I couldn't find pretzel M&Ms; only the place where they used to live, I was frantically pacing the seasonal aisle and the one next to it, where I almost ran into his cart. I get a mean case of tunnel vision when it comes to candy. After all that, I took my loot (Just two bags of candy!) and went to the self-check out because there's no way I'm standing in the express lane where there are 10 people with carts or the other lane with the lady and her 4 bad kids. Low and behold! There he is checking out his swag. I could've cared and said something witty but all I really did was scan, pay, bag and dip out. I looked around ferociously, praying that none of my colleagues would see me in this place. So, yeah, I can see how a self-important ass hat could consider my actions suspicious.

I told him that I couldn't talk long because I was on my way to family dinner. Which is something that I really engage in on Tuesdays. I explained that as my reason for being in that god-awful store and told him that I would call him back later that evening. And now? I almost wish I hadn't...

Oh! Except I got Reese's miniatures! I mean, I would have walked through hot lava to get those. Believe that.



More tomorrow... Hint: The post is titled Bigotry: A Phone Date

It's The Hardest Thing I'll Ever Have To Do

No, not look him in the eye and tell him I don't love him. {B^)

Rather, its to keep my mouth shut. It's absolutely killing me. Because what I really want to do is tell him outright that he should see me trying and appreciate it, god dammit. But instead, I have decided to let the whole thing go. I made a list of pros and cons and let me tell you... cons, hands down.

Pros

• Attractive (Very)


• Dedicated to his plan


• Great Physique


• Focused on his business


• Driven


• Calm


• Fun and playful

Cons

• Attractive - I'm a very jealous person


• Plans without goals


• Ideas without a clear vision


• Atlanta - as in, he's not going with (worth 5 points)


• Less than 4 months 'til departure for Atlanta (worth another 5 points)


• Still lives at home without definitive plan to move out


• Fluctuating employment


• No desire to step into adulthood


• Refusal to be responsible for self


• Instability


• Not focused on building a relationship


• We broke up for a reason

That's just some of the stuff I wrote down. The lists went on for pages and included some raunchy stuff like, Pro - Grrrrrreat in bed and Pro - Huge cock, but since my mom reads this page I thought that'd be inappropriate to post.

And just one more. Con - I want this off my fucking brain already! The only way to do that is to trash the wrapper.

Sometimes, I Wonder...

• if I'll ever be the kind of woman that men write songs about


• if I'll find my place in this world


• whether bankruptcy is my best option


• when I'll be properly motivated to lose this weight


• if I can reclaim my inner flirt


• what it will take to snag Mr. Right For Me


• when I will get to start my family


• if Atlanta is a new opportunity or me just running away


• how many books I can really read at once without getting them all jumbled up in my head


• why my Mom is always right


• can I really have a child just like me, 'cause that would be all bad


• if my life will ever be more than mediocre


• why I love shoes SO MUCH and clothes only this much


• where I can get cute dresses that would totally flatter my killer legs


• when my income will match my tastes


• why everyone isn't as fashion concious as my family


• why he still makes me blush


• why his touch can make my heart melt


• if he'll ever get his act right so that I can break this celibacy


• if I'm completely insane for going 7 months without nookie


• what it will take to get nookie off the brain


• why my mom's dog is licking the laptop


• if telling on Ethan was the right thing to do


• how Ethan's going to get back at me for getting him in trouble


• how the hell does Twitter work


• why don't carrots taste like cake? I'd definitely eat more of them if they tasted like cake


• if I'm the only person in America that's had the same cell phone number for 8 years


• when I'm going to get to use my fancy phone that I bought on Black Friday


• why I procrastinate over nothing


• if I can swing an awesome gift for my Mom AND get myself two new pairs of shoes

photo source

London Was Calling...

Until Ethan picked up the phone.

We're in my living room and he tells me that after he's done in Korea he's going to PCS to London. London, people!!

I get ecstatic, put my biggest OMG-I-can't-believe-this-is-really-happening smile on and say, "Can I go with you?". To which he replies, "Yeah, as long as you have your passport".

I give him the biggest squeeze I can (I'm kinda weak because I haven't been to the gym in months) and I can't stop beaming. That was two weeks ago.

Fast forward to last night when I tell him that I told Mom and Dad that I'm going to London with him. He gives me the confused face and is all, "I thought you were going to Atlanta?"

Me: I am.

Ethan: So, why are you moving to London?

Me: Because you're there and you said I could.

Ethan: But I thought Atlanta was permanent?

Me: No.

Ethan: So, why move all your stuff if it's not permanent?

Me: Where the hell else am I supposed to put it if I don't bring it with?

Ethan: But what about when I visit? I wanna come visit just you in Atlanta. I be hittin' on all your bad friends. Your friends are always fine! And you won't help but have black friends in Atlanta. I'm trying to come and get some of that.

This is where I relent. We are talking about the man that I'm hoping will gift my children their college educations or fun-filled family vacations or something else crazy that I want them to have and may not be able to afford.

I went into how it's my dream to live in Spain and London's just a temporary stop. How I've always wanted to live in Europe but was afraid to go alone. How great it would be if my big little brother - who would be getting free housing - would let me stay there for awhile. Not forever, just until I found a job and could get my own flat.

After all that, you know what he said? "Just as long as I don't hear you f*cking some dude. Walls are thin."