...And Then He Kissed Me

You know that I went on a date with The Engineer, right? And that it was...different. He was shy and charming and smart and a perfect gentleman. We laughed and talked about so much including, faith and family. As hard as I tried, I couldn't find one thing wrong with him. He even asked me out on a second date before the first was over. When I told him that it'd have to be in the afternoon, he said that he was definitely thinking night. And thus, the "Friend Zone" was successfully dodged.

He cancelled our second date hours before it should have begun. The demon, skepticism, came out and I was sure it had less to do with car trouble and more to do with him not knowing how to bow out gracefully. The hour came when we would have been sharing a pizza and my computer pinged. It was him. IMing me. We talked for over an hour and I went to bed placated.

Monday came and he lamented having to go to his company's Christmas Dinner alone. Naturally I assumed that he would ask me to accompany him. (Who am I if not a girl that jumps to ridiculous conclusions?) In the end we both agreed that it was a lot soon to meet the people he worked with and he asked me if we could start again.

Only a fool would say no.

We've talked everyday and made plans for Thursday (tonight!). He promised to tell me where we were going so I'd know how to dress. But honestly? I'd already picked up on his vibe. It would be nice. Grown-up even. Like, shave-your-legs-and-wear-a-dress-in-the-winter worthy. I was super excited. Wednesday came and I still didn't know where we were going to have dinner so I asked. And he didn't respond. All. Day.

Panic crept in and made a home in my heart.

I told my sister, my therapist, the girls at work, the birds, and the rain that it was over. I had been played. How? I didn't know but I was sure that the fairytale was over and I would never date again. Then, my phone chimed.

It was him. He was on his way back from Cleveland - a short business trip - and wanted to see me that night! Could I be there by 7p? No. But definitely by 8. Or 8:05. It definitely would have been 8 if I hadn't needed to try on four different pairs of shoes before going with my black knee-high boots. He called at 8:02 to make sure I was OK. And was waiting outside, like a gentleman, to walk me in.

We sat and he made it known that this date was in addition to and not replacing the one planned for Thursday. And it went perfectly. We were able to have intellectual conversations and a mutual exchange of opinions. Plus, he thinks I'm "stunning". Even when I dropped food on myself at dinner, he told me that it was OK and I finally felt better when I saw a shower of rice fall from his lap.

He walked me to my car and I stood there willing him to kiss me. I honestly don't' think I could have wanted it any more than I did that very moment. I had to literally restrain myself from grabbing him when he said goodnight and turned to walk away. Instead, I yelled out, "Wait! Um, where are we going tomorrow?". He looked at me, looked at the sky, and fumbled around for words and then looked at me and then... he kissed me.

Just a little. Just a peck. But it was absolutely perfect.

And now I've got to get ready for tonight!

Burnt Toast

So, I guess I'm going to tell the story again after all.

Toasty was perfect. Cute, tall, charming, understanding, and an amazing cuddler. He said all these wonderful things. Like how he wants kids, would be willing to move to my town (He lives about 90 minutes out), that I deserve the best of everything, that I'm gorgeous. But then, on our second date, he wore sweatpants, made no plans, and expected me to put out.

I can't even tell you how upset I was. The man who said he didn't smoke, left to get cigarettes. "I only smoke when I drink", he said. But he'd also told me that he'd quit drinking. You know, after his second DUI and all. However, I did watch him single handedly down a bottle of Beringer White Zin.

Let's all be serious for a second. A grown man drinking pink wine is a major turn off. Especially, when it's something as cheap as Beringer. And let's not talk about how it was the 1.5 liter bottle. That's the equivalent of TWO bottles for those of us who know anything about wine. Two bottles of wine and five cigarettes in less than 2 hours by a man who quit drinking and doesn't smoke.

Then he asked if I wanted to "f**k" him and when I rejected his charming advance, he said, "That's OK. You can just get me off in the morning". Now, I'm not opposed to manual or oral stimulation but I was absolutely floored by his audacity.

Add in the fact that he told me that he was openly talking to other women and you can see why our two week relationship hit the rocks. His goodbye text went like this, "Hey.. Sorry I didn't get back to you.. I not sure about us.. I mean, you turned me down on alot of stuff.. I dont want a woman that turns me down.."

So, I told him that I want a man that's willing to compromise. Not someone who insists on controlling the remote even though I've expressed that I hate this particular show. Or who wants to take a picture of my naked breasts. Or who thinks that he's going to be having sex with me while chatting up other women.

He seemed so promising. He really put on an excellent show. And the whole time I was with him all I could do was wonder where the wonderful man I'd met just days before had disappeared to and what I would have to do to get him back. But I don't want him back. Because the man I fell for was never really there. Awesome.

It's amazing how hard it is to find someone that you actually want to spend time with. I'm talking to at least four different men right now which is absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. Plus, it's super stressful. Why couldn't Toasty just act right? Sigh. 

Meeting Mr. Right On Time

We all know how hard it is to find someone that we would actually want to spend the rest of our lives with. For those of us that didn't come across him before age 28, it's getting harder everyday. For the umpteenth time, I've turned to online dating. Except, I went the free route. I can't even make you understand how awesome and yet exhausting it has been.

I met someone immediately who seemed like he was worth the time I was investing. He said all the right things. Remembered the smallest details. Schmoozed my mom and sisters by phone. Begged me to bring my dog to his place so that I could stay the night. And then... wore sweatpants. Like, actual grey sweatpants. He was SUPER comfortable in a relationship that was only weeks old.

I won't dwell on it anymore. I've told the story at least 4 times and each time I become even more exasperated. Let's just chalk it all up to a waste of time. Eh. It could be worse.

However, in a fit of spite and anger, I did plan a drinks date with someone else. Then, I told him I was doing it. Because I am a highly sought after woman! AND IF HE COULDN'T FIGURE THAT OUT ON HIS OWN THEN I WAS GOING TO SHOW HIM!

It might have come across as a tad bit crazy.

Oh, well.

Let's suffice it to say that I was none too thrilled about having to get dressed up again for another man that would very likely be wearing sweatpants. Especially one that didn't have the strong jaw and piercing green eyes.

But I was not let down. The Engineer is different. He has a career and a genuine interest in me. I found it funny that we flowed easily into a conversation about electrical work all because I caught him staring at the industrial ceiling. He gets my jokes. And when I told him about my beliefs, he accurately described it as "spiritual but not religious". I was so caught off guard that I could only stare wide-eyed.

He has brothers and sisters and gets why it's important for a kid to have both. And if you read our profiles, it looks like one plagiarized the other. We both love the local festivals and are eagerly learning the city. He even likes live music.

I don't know when I'll ever learn to stop judging books by their covers. I don't know that I ever will. All I know is that The Engineer wants to see me again... on Saturday... night... and I couldn't be more excited.