Sunday, December 11, 2011

Burnt Toast

So, I guess I'm going to tell the story again after all.

Toasty was perfect. Cute, tall, charming, understanding, and an amazing cuddler. He said all these wonderful things. Like how he wants kids, would be willing to move to my town (He lives about 90 minutes out), that I deserve the best of everything, that I'm gorgeous. But then, on our second date, he wore sweatpants, made no plans, and expected me to put out.

I can't even tell you how upset I was. The man who said he didn't smoke, left to get cigarettes. "I only smoke when I drink", he said. But he'd also told me that he'd quit drinking. You know, after his second DUI and all. However, I did watch him single handedly down a bottle of Beringer White Zin.

Let's all be serious for a second. A grown man drinking pink wine is a major turn off. Especially, when it's something as cheap as Beringer. And let's not talk about how it was the 1.5 liter bottle. That's the equivalent of TWO bottles for those of us who know anything about wine. Two bottles of wine and five cigarettes in less than 2 hours by a man who quit drinking and doesn't smoke.

Then he asked if I wanted to "f**k" him and when I rejected his charming advance, he said, "That's OK. You can just get me off in the morning". Now, I'm not opposed to manual or oral stimulation but I was absolutely floored by his audacity.

Add in the fact that he told me that he was openly talking to other women and you can see why our two week relationship hit the rocks. His goodbye text went like this, "Hey.. Sorry I didn't get back to you.. I not sure about us.. I mean, you turned me down on alot of stuff.. I dont want a woman that turns me down.."

So, I told him that I want a man that's willing to compromise. Not someone who insists on controlling the remote even though I've expressed that I hate this particular show. Or who wants to take a picture of my naked breasts. Or who thinks that he's going to be having sex with me while chatting up other women.

He seemed so promising. He really put on an excellent show. And the whole time I was with him all I could do was wonder where the wonderful man I'd met just days before had disappeared to and what I would have to do to get him back. But I don't want him back. Because the man I fell for was never really there. Awesome.

It's amazing how hard it is to find someone that you actually want to spend time with. I'm talking to at least four different men right now which is absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. Plus, it's super stressful. Why couldn't Toasty just act right? Sigh. 

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