Monday, July 25, 2011
I'm A Quitter
I've started smoking again. That's how far out of control I feel my life is.
And I've stopped my meds. I can feel the crazy creep up on me every so often.
I am pulling away from my therapist. I just decided one day that she didnt know what she was talking about and couldnt be trusted.
I'm making simple (yet expensive) mistakes at work. I tallied up over a thousand dollars in the past two weeks.
This isn't who I am. I'm not the girl who cries every night after work. I'm not that girl who blogs on her cell phone from a bathroom stall.
Yet, that's what I'm doing. This is who I've become. I recently decided to put in another two and a half years at this job if they'll have me. Meaning I've got to get my head back in the game.
I'm going back to school in the winter.
I'm going to see my doctor in a few weeks.
I'm going back to kickboxing and cardiovascular workouts next week.
I'm taking my life back.
I'm quitting failure.
You are my witness.