Giving Thanks

There are some things in life that we just let pass us by without proper acknowledgement. It's funny that when you read this list, you may say to yourself, "Why is she thanking him/her/it/them? They didn't do anything special". But the truth of the matter is that they have done something special by doing just one small thing right and they deserve to be recognized for it. Because, believe me, if they did something wrong, you would aaaaalllllllll know it before they were out of ear shot.

1. To the cleaning crew at work - thank you for scraping off that dried, bloody booger that was on the wall in stall 4. I don't know who put it there and I hate them just as much as you do. Yes, I wish their toothbrush had been here for you to use also.

2. Nice people at the Drive-Thru window - on a day like yesterday where my air conditioner was being a 1st class cow, I was not in the mood to deal with anything including my greasy face, my sweaty skin, or my frizzy hair. All I really wanted was to bring my body temp down about 10 degrees. That's where the BK drive-thru guy comes in. He handed me my large-sized Dr. P and my large-sized Cherry Icee without comment or judgement. He even kept silent when I squealed in delight. For a brief second, he was my hero.

3. My paycheck - I'm always ready to tell it off when it's acting a jack or mysteriously short, but I never take the time to thank it for being enough to supply all of my needs and most of my wants.

4. The Deleted Folder in my Outlook - This folder will never know how many times a day it has saved me from the brink of insanity or kept me from having to bop someone upside their skull to bring things to their recollection. Instead, I just pull up that email from February 8, 2009 and offer you a rock-solid refesher.

5. Baked Goods - I love them in every form and on days like today I'm going to devour them.

6. Sports that aren't Baseball - you all rock. All of you. Yeah, even you lacrosse. There's something about the physical contact that gets me. Those baseball jocks are a bunch of pansies. Whining about outs and balls and bad calls. How about I take this ball and kick it towards your face?!? Huh!?! Yeah... that's what I thought.

7. MMA Fighters - Y'all aren't pretty but it's not really pretty that I'm after. I love the knowledge that my man could kick your man's ass. Puuurrrrrrrrrr!

8. Nail Techs - You don't talk much and you are always trying to upsell me on some solar polish but DAMN if you don't do brilliant work. I <3 you, for real though.

9. My Boobs - Sometimes, you weigh my shoulders down and make me feel like I'm carrying a watermelon, but I love you. We've been together so long that I kinda can't imagine life without you.

10. To All of the Relationships that Didn't Work Out - You were all bitches for treating me the way you did but you all taught me something too. Once, I learned that I was too forgiving. Another time I learned that it's ok to have bounderies. One of you taught me that in my deepest core I am NOT a Gold Digger and wouldn't allow someone to buy my dignity. Most recently, you taught me not to allow my mother to get involved. At the time we were together, I'm sure I hated you; I hate some of you still. But I learned from you, so, thanks for that.

Kisses --

J-Bird