Heavy Sighs

I wish today felt like a holiday. I want to be happy. But instead I feel this gloom inside threatening to overwhelm every second of my existence. It is not for lack of accomplishments or unrequited love nor for deep-rooted lonliness. No, I mourn for things unseen. The inevitability of future and the consistency of change. My soul cries out for time to stop turning. And in doing so, only wastes the precious morsels. The pain eminates from my belly and radiates to all those around me. The tension and self loathing is palpable. I need it all to end. I beg for it to leave me be. Because as long as it hangs around I feel as though I am a burden to all who know me. Which causes more pain. I would never want to be a burden. But I dont know how to stop.