Yesterday was a good day. I stayed so busy that I didnt have time to dwell on my issues. Helping my friend create the wedding reception of her dreams gave me a feeling of usefulness and satisfaction. Then I even help one of my besties move into her new home. It's gorgeous and I'll know she'll put her cozy spin on it in no time.
But then today happened. I'm on my way back to my mother's (it is almost Sunday and I'll be doing all of the cooking) when my car decides to crap itself. I hear a rattling and check the rear view to see white smoke billowing out behind me. I don't know what's wrong and even if I did, I don't have the money to fix it. Now, the car that gets me to the job that pays me so insufficiently that I can hardly make my bills might a) fall to pieces around me, b) burn to a crisp with me still in it, or c) just stop working all while I still have a loan on it.
In my world, there is no one to help me. My mother is unemployed and my father can barely make his frayed ends meet. Moving back in with either of them is not an option as I am not wanted by either of them (and I still have many months left on my current lease). As I sit here trying not to burst into tears, I have only one request to whatever entity may be controlling the universe. Just give me some time. Four months. After that, you can send the car to automotive hell.
I learned a new word.
3 months ago