Thursday, January 13, 2011

We Are Not Friends


If someone decided two years ago that they weren't going to speak to you ever again because they thought that you were unjust in your quest to be an accomplice to a major win, do you have to befriend them again?

This question is, of course, anything but hypothetical. It has everything to do with Charlotte - the woman at work that I've started to post about at least 5 times over the past 12 months but never actually got around to telling you about. Procrastination rocks!

Whatevs. Point is: I think I might have led her on.

I'm a Sag girl. We are dirty, flirty birds and optimistic to a fault. I am a firm believer that it sucks now but will soon get better. I may hate you in this moment but give it another five and I won't be angry. I won't forget but I won't be angry. The not forgetting makes me a Champion Grudge Holder. You can ask CBS111. She forgives and moves forward. I forgive and will write it in your eulogy. But that doesn't mean that I have to be hateful.

And that's where I go wrong. Charlotte thinks that because I let her use my dirty fork that it's all good. But the reality is this: She mumbled, "Dammit! I left my fork home" *slams cabinet door*. I looked up and realized I was the only person in the room. I said - and I quote - "You can use mine if you want to wash it".

What choice did I have? To let her starve? I'm not gonna watch anyone go hungry if I can prevent it.

But then, the day after the fork thing, she asked me about Nat's wedding. Then she made some comment to me that was solely work related. And then she said something about the ginormous apple I was eating. And honestly, I don't even know what the hell she said because I was only half listening because WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!

But then this morning, she hustled over here to ask me more work questions and said she knew that I would know the answer and she couldn't ask the boss because he's in meetings and I had to have her repeat the question three times because I couldn't focus on her words because all I could think was "What the hell is going on here?". The worst part is that her visit was obviously contrived. She wanted to know if the spreadsheet would override the system. And it will. Like it has for the 5 years we've been running this program. That's why the spreadsheet was created - to make our lives easier. Why would they change that with just 3 weeks to go?

I'm not telling you this to seek out your advice. I know exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to ignore the shit out of her. What other choice do I have? It wouldn't hurt so much if the fall from grace hadn't been so volatile. I mean, Charlotte and I used to hang out hard core.

I've spent many nights driving down to her place, eating at the VFW, and crashing in her guest room. We even spent a couple New Years' together. So I felt betrayed when she three-pieced me with the liar / thief / cheater accusation. Just sayin'.

So, anyways, that's what's going on there. And Palmer wants to take me out to dinner when he comes to town next. I accepted. He says that he knows that we're just going as friends and he doesn't care where we go because he's putting it on the company card. What I'm going to write next is evil and underhanded and I'm telling you now so you have time to cope with it. We're going to the nicest steak restaurant in town. I intend to wear my nicest dress, arrive with manicure, pedicure, and perfect coif, strike up gay and light-hearted conversation, eat and drink a very expensive, very free meal and then head straight to Steve's house.

Basically. Fuck 'em. Both.

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