So very, very drunk.
If you follow me on Twitter, then 1. Yay! and 2. I'm sorry.
But the good news is that I'm not hungover! Which is a miracle in and of itself because I remember what I drank and it's just unpretty.
I knew that I was gonna get crazy but I had planned to save that for this evening. Instead, around 5:30 last night, with my long pants soaked up to my knees and snow flakes landing on my lapels, I decided that I would use the emergency money in my car to buy a fifth of tequila. I ran this crazy idea by Sam and Bailey's moms (Klea's playgroup) and Bailey's mom was all "That's a great idea! I'll drink it with you and then we can go to the bar!". Her words were like honey to my ears. She was even willing to drive.
He and I have been together since 2005. It's an on-and-off friends with benefits relationship. Nobody knows we're friends and we like it that way. When we first started our relationship, I panicked to the brink of my sanity and told him that I needed rules. Just three.
- He can not ever tell me if he were sleeping with someone else at the same time. (That's just nasty and I would freak the eff out.)
- He can not get me pregnant.
- We can both call, and if desired, deny the request.
- I can never ask where he is or who he's with.
- I can never trick him into getting me pregnant.
- When I stop calling, I'm never to explain why.
When I finally woke up it was only because he called me at 11:20. Who does that?
When I answered the phone at 11:20 the conversation went like this:
Me: Hello? (What he heard: hhhhhawwooo?)
Friend: It's me.
Friend: Am I coming over?
Me: No. I'm asleep! (nonafeanvnaep vaijioapvehaui ahueapfne)
Friend: I can't understand you.
Me: Why would you call me this late? So rude! (famioemaoapvnaeun afhuean ehau pajfiejpahae)
Friend: Are you trying to see me or not?
Me: No. (No.)
The next thing I knew it was four o' clock and I felt like someone had stuck me with an adrenaline needle. That's when I saw his final message from last night, sent around 11:30p.
"You are the only woman I know that can drunk text me at 8 and be passed out by 11".
I think he's starting to fall in love with me.
(photo Tequila Buzz. The review is absolutely hateful. True. But hateful nonetheless.)