Hellooooo, Mr. Scale. It's Been Awhile. aka Fitness Friday

Here's the point:

I weighed myself this morning. I'm not going to tell you what the scale said because it's an insult to my person but I will tell you that I am no longer the heaviest I've ever been because I've lost 1.2 pounds. To celebrate, I had Burger King for breakfast. I know what you're thinking but you can hush your brain because I will totally walk/run/jog all of this off at tomorrow's Race for the Cure. Not to mention that I've been putting in extra fitness time.

How? I'm glad you asked. Firstly, I now take my pups on 2 half-hour walks every day and a 3rd 15-minute walk at night. I get the exercise I need and they get all the fresh air and poop space their little hearts could ever want.

Secondly, I've decided that I'm not going to not eat whatever I want. Because depriving myself is what made me binge like a mad person.( Just ask CBS111 about that time at El Vaquero that I ate like a preggo hostage. It was uncalled for. Plus all the dump cake. Damn you, dump cake, for being so easy to prepare!) But now that I feel free to eat whatever I want, I do. And it's working for me because I like doing whatever I want.

Thirdly, I am avoiding the scale at all costs until absolutely necessary (also known as Friday mornings - post shower but pre clothing. Yeah, I'm nekkid). This keeps me from losing my mind with worry about my progress. So basically, no Wii fit for me. I'd probably be consistently depressed by its mockery.

And finally, I remind myself every day that this will only get done if I do it. I spent thousands of dollars last year only to regain all the weight plus some more. All of my fantastic Buckle clothes don't fit and I refuse to give away anymore shirts. So based on my financial investment alone, I have to make it stick this time. Plus, I love myself too much to keep living this way. I looked in the mirror and for the first time felt fat. Like, fat fat. And unattractive. It's not supposed to be like this. I know that I'll feel healthier as the weight disappears; I've been there once before.

So let's get back to it Bloggies! It's time to get fit!

Next Week: P90X - Week 1 Again...

Inspiration?

I have none. Instead, I am sitting at my desk calculating how hard I'll have to work the rest of the week to make up for today (which equals FAIL, by the way). I was going to tell you all how I've gained back all but .8 pounds.

Yup, I'm sitting here at a pleasingly plump 235. But I'm ok with it for two reasons. One, I don't have the money to eat better. I've been cramming my face full of cheap food for weeks now. I mean, bags of Chex Mix because they were only $1 at the store. And anything free I can get from my Mom's freezer. Two, I'm so much closer to being out of debt it's not even funny. I'm down to three cards with balances. Discover will be paid off on March 12 to the tune of $414.70. Is it crazy? Yes. Stupid? Quite possibly. Freeing? Absolutely.

Sometimes, I wonder what to do to make myself better and I made the mistake of saying this to my Dad. What he said to me was, "Just be thankful". And I was all, "For what?" [sarcastic tone]. And he said, "For everything".

I won't bore you with a tangent on how my life could be worst with homelessness and lonliness. But I will share that I often forget how truly lucky I am. I won't make a pledge to be more grateful because I don't have it in me to fail at something right now. However, if you feel inspired to pledge... well, then I actually achieved something today.

One Thing Affects ALL the Others

This has been one of my shittiest weeks on record by far. And I've started this post differently everyday this week because I was going to fill it with more bitching about: Monday - my life, Tuesday - my boss, and Wednesday - my job.

But today is different. Because this morning, I gathered the courage to do what I should have done yesterday... I weighed myself. And you know what? I'm down 1.2 pounds. That's MORE than a WHOLE POUND after weeks of a whole lotta nothing.

And the only thing I did differently was get off my fat ass and sweat for around 40 minutes a day.

When I got to work this morning, I did what I always do: log in to blogger and check on my weight loss idols. The one that caught my eye first was Jack Sh*t and today's post "Why Not?".

It moved me in a way that paying $1300 for a trainer, $70 for new sneakers, and countless dollars on various at-home-fitness-programs never have. It made me reflect on why I haven't just done it already. And it caused me to confront my fear of failure.

So, I'm hoping that my early morning epiphany will give me the strength to propel forward just one more day, one more week so that I can lose one more pound. And with a little luck, I might lose these last 70 pounds after all.

Wednesday Weigh-In

Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls!

I weighed myself this morning and the result is... (drum roll, please)

232.6!!

That's right. The .1 lbs that I lost somehow found it's way back. But that's ok. I started P90X this week. And let me tell you, it is no joke. I'm at the point where the warm-up feels like my workout and I can't even make it through the whole DVD.

Last night was Cardio X. It kicked my fat ass. I was huffing and reaching and kicking and fatigued all without using weights. I never thought of my chair as an adversary until I tried to kick my leg over it. Damn chair. With it's high back. I wanted to break it but my triceps wouldn't cooperate.

I'm not going to lie. These videos are h.a.r.d. But I know it'll all be worth it soon. And no, I haven't started running yet. It's just too cold outside and I don't have winter workout gear. I know, such poor planning.

What Time Is It?

It's 9:35 am. But it feels like it should be 9:35pm because my head is about to explode. I feel horrible. Even worst than the last time I was sick. It must be from the 20 degree drop in temperature on Monday. Sometimes, I hate this place.

I did drag my butt to the scale this morning though. .1 pounds loss. I'm not even going to put it on the ticker. I'm sure its just from the loss of food I experienced around 3 o' clock this morning.

Ethan needs to hurry up and get here so I can start taking sick days again.

Wednesday Weigh-In

232.6
Good News: I didn't gain any weight!!
Bad News: I didn't lose any weight.

It's my fault. I'm eating better than I did the whole holiday season (or since I stopped going to the gym). But I haven't worked out all week. I will change that this week. Gonna start going for longer walks with the dogs. And going on small 30 minute walks around the neighborhood. I can hardly wait until it's still light out at 6:30p. Then it won't be so scary trying to work out.

On the job front, I sat with a manager from another branch this week. It was so annoying. And honestly, probably the hardest I've worked in weeks. I need to get my mind right. I don't know how though. I'm just so over doing the same thing day in and day out. I feel so unfulfilled. :(

In good news! I made a training schedule to get my body back into running. Majorly psyched by that. And got some good trails going for neighborhood jogs on http://www.mapmyrun.com/. If you want to know how far you're going and don't have a pedometer (yet) then go there. You will thank yourself. I did.

The Great Weight Debate

232.6. Those are the numbers that glared back at me this morning. Bastards!

I know what I've got to do and I know what (some) of the steps are to get there.

Wish me luck.