My birthday is swiftly approaching. I would like to say that my advancing age isn't on my mind but that's not true at all. It's always on my mind. It's on everyone's mind quite frankly. My father - in his efforts to help - continues to remind me that it's perfectly normal for my generation to wait for marriage and that he would much rather me wait and get it right the first time, then for me to rush into it and suffer the heartbreak of divorce. My mother believes that if I establish roots and buy a house that I will attract the kind of man that is ready to settle down and start a family. Gram is sure that as soon as I get back into church, the Lord will bring a good, Christian man my way. Ethan, my brother, simply said, "Me and you, we're not the marrying kind" -- I mean, seriously, who says stuff like that?
I guess what I'm saying is: I know I'm getting older but I still don't feel ready to link my life to someone else's. I'm just not. There are too many things that I want to see, do, and experience before I embark on the journey of "forever". Putting it in this blog seems as pointless as saying it to my mother - who just happens to send me real estate listings once a week. All I want to do is eliminate my debt so that I can travel to far away lands. Sounds dorky, right? Well, that's what I want. And it's curious to me that this is the one thing that I want and yet it's the one thing that none of them will help me with.
I know it seems selfish for me to hold tight to my own ambitions but I think I'm allowed to be selfish in this respect. Mom only wants me to buy a house because she wants to move Gram here. Sadly, Mom's house is already overflowing and if I bought my own 1800 square foot chateau, all of our problems would be solved! Except I'd be bitter and resentful. But why let that get in the way of her grandiose scheme?
All this leads me to scheming of my own. In a few short months, I will be completely debt free. And if I'm clever enough to stop being so malcontent, this job will allow me to save many, many dollars in one very short year. Twenty months is all I need to be free of all of this. Yes, I'm being completely selfish but it's high time that someone put me first, I think.
I guess what I'm saying is: I know I'm getting older but I still don't feel ready to link my life to someone else's. I'm just not. There are too many things that I want to see, do, and experience before I embark on the journey of "forever". Putting it in this blog seems as pointless as saying it to my mother - who just happens to send me real estate listings once a week. All I want to do is eliminate my debt so that I can travel to far away lands. Sounds dorky, right? Well, that's what I want. And it's curious to me that this is the one thing that I want and yet it's the one thing that none of them will help me with.
I know it seems selfish for me to hold tight to my own ambitions but I think I'm allowed to be selfish in this respect. Mom only wants me to buy a house because she wants to move Gram here. Sadly, Mom's house is already overflowing and if I bought my own 1800 square foot chateau, all of our problems would be solved! Except I'd be bitter and resentful. But why let that get in the way of her grandiose scheme?
All this leads me to scheming of my own. In a few short months, I will be completely debt free. And if I'm clever enough to stop being so malcontent, this job will allow me to save many, many dollars in one very short year. Twenty months is all I need to be free of all of this. Yes, I'm being completely selfish but it's high time that someone put me first, I think.
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