Day 25: My Day In Great Detail

The Thanksgiving Day Edition

0530 - wake up at mom's house
0531 - growl at the alarm clock
0545 - get off the couch
0547 - pee in the dark
0555 - put leash on dog and get dragged for 6 six blocks
0615 - get back to mom's and feed dog
0620 - get in the shower
0637 - have mom burst in on me in the shower to ask, "who are you talking to?"
0638 - explain that I don't want anything
0700 - dressed and ready to cook
0710 - start breakfast muffins
0715 - mom gets in the way
0800 - breakfast consumed
0810 - ready Thanksgiving Day menu aloud and reinforce the idea of the time line
0811 - get told that the time line is not important
0811:30 - roll my eyes
0815 - assemble all ingredients needed to complete dinner
0840 - call Nat to see when she's going to make it over to start the veggie lasagna
           have world's most ridiculous conversation with someone who's half asleep
0845 - prepare to prep veggies for lasagna myself
0846 - get told again that the time line is not important
0847 - pull turkey from fridge
0849 - gasp as the turkey is EIGHT POUNDS HEAVIER than requested and anticipated
0850 - grumble because the turkey is still frozen inside
0851 - re-wrap turkey and drag it to bathtub
... - forget that the tub is running
0910 - remember the tub is running and trip trying to get to the bathroom before it overflows
0912 - stop tub just before it overflows
0915 - finally begin prepping veggies for lasagna
0930 - April and Rebecca want to help but really end up standing in the way
0937 - threaten to start drinking if mom doesn't back off
0940 - tell April that she should keep her thoughts to herself
1014 - begin assembling 3-layers of lasagna with help from girls
1037 - lasagna goes in oven 67 minutes late
1040 - start greens
1100 - take the desserts from the fridge
1110 - assign chores to the girls to keep them out of the way
1130 - rinse and prep turkey using fresh sage, butter, and bacon
1210 - remove lasagna from oven, put turkey in - turkey is an hour behind schedule
1212 - accept that time line is fucked and pour first goblet of wine
1230 - 1630 - lose all ability to give a shit about time because I have consumed a gigantic bottle of Woodbridge Riesling by myself. Nat and Mr. T are here now. The turkey gets basted in maple syrup when I remember to and since it's heavier than I thought it would be it took an extra hour to cook.
1630 - POWER HOUR
1642 -  turkey finishes
1645 - put greens, beans, and twice baked potatoes in oven
1650 - get mac & cheese going on the stove
1652 - prep toppings for the twice baked potatoes
1700 - get rolls on two baking sheets
1715 - remove greens, beans, and potatoes. put in rolls and mac & cheese
1730 - everything out on table
1732 - Mr. T takes Thanksgiving Day photos
1740 - Moms husband prays and we eat.
1900 - I pass out drunk in the arm chair in the den

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!