Friday, February 26, 2010

Could It Be Any Suckier?

Today, someone who is not me put in their two weeks notice. Now, I’m not going to talk bad about this person’s character because I don’t know them all like that. But statistically, this guy sucks at this job. And somehow, he manages to still have the sun shining out of his ass.

”Is it his penis?” you ask. Why, how astute of you to notice. Yes, he is the only male in our department and so his goals are different. For instance, I was written up for subpar performance on phone calls, however, I was still averaging more calls for him. Because the Official Goal (as per the company handbook) is 75 calls per day, “Mike’s” goal is “somewhere in the 60s”. I could go on about how sexist this place is, but I knew that when I joined this industry 7 years ago and its part of the reason why this industry will die a painful, horrible death. Although, I’m sure they haven’t checked but women spend the majority of money in this country and you can talk down to me all day long but my greenbacks will spend somewhere else, you heard?

Ahem. Back to what matters.

So, Mike is leaving. And I want to care but all I can do is laugh. They praised him (in 2009)* for selling more generators than anyone else in the whole company’s history. But he didn’t sell them. The entire state of Kentucky was covered in ice; 35% of those sold themselves, 35% were sold by me** to customers that I still had relationships with in KY, 25% were sold by “Charlotte”** to her old customers and the other 10% were sold by the two field reps who spent two days on their cell phones making deals with me and Charlotte. Then they made Mike “Inside Salesperson of the Year” and justified it by saying, “This award is not based on sales calls, dollars or goals but on the attitude of the person and their passion for the job.” Yeeeeeaaahhh. That’s because Mike got his ass whooped by a group of girls.

I hope that this doesn’t come off as me hating on Mike. I don’t wish him any ill. But it’s funny that no matter how much they gave to him it still wasn’t enough. Us girls, we’ve each put in at least 5 years*** here. I guess that shows what loyalty gets you. I really need to get on the ball with this job hunt.
*CORRECTION: They awarded him for fiscal year 2009 which runs from Oct 1, 2008 to Sept 30, 2009
**RELEVANCE: Charlotte and I split the state of Kentucky before Mike joined the team
***RELEVANCE: Mike only joined the company on Oct 12, 2008

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