Things I would rather happen than deal with my mother's current husband:
* have a llama spit on my food * put my foot through a chipper/shredder * eat Peruvian insects of any variety * be on an episode of "For the Love of Ray J" * get back together with the guy I dated from New Guinea
Because after all of the drama he caused at Christmas, you know, by stealing her car, putting April and Rebecca's gifts in the mailbox, etc., he had the audacity to show up at her house for the Super Bowl.
In all fairness, she invited him. And here's why. They talked and he apologized. To her. But not to me or my sisters or my grandma or everyone else who was brought into their unwieldy mess over the holidays because he's a selfish jackass.
So, yes, as far as I'm concerned he can go to hell. He came into the family room trying to strike up conversation like we'd have anything even mildly constructive or positive to say to him. I was so disgusted that I up and left the room. Being in his presence was too much for me to handle.
Do I feel as though I'm being childish? Not at all. He disrespected the whole family and chose the one holiday of the year that should be celebrated with joy and good will and decided to ruin it by acting like a prick.
And it hasn't escaped me that he only wanted to talk to reconcile their relationship after my mom got her job offer. Just like he waited to propose until she closed on her own house.
Goals! But I'm Really Gonna Get All of TheseThings Regardless
Lose 10 pounds - Get a manicure and pedicure Lose 15 pounds - Get new sneakers
Lose 20 pounds - Get new bras Lose 25 pounds - Give baggy, saggy clothes to Goodwill Lose 35 pounds - Get new, sexy, OMG! I'm under 200 pounds outfit (maximum $200) Lose 40 pounds - Get facial Lose 45 pounds - Get new black sandals Lose 50 pounds - Get cable and internet in my apartment Lose 60 pounds - Get silky pajamas (1) Lose 65 pounds - Get sexy lingerie (1) Lose 70 pounds - Professional photo shoot Lose 75 pounds - Celebration party with all my friends
This Is Who I Would Like To Be... We Both Know The Truth
Buy a scale - you don't want to know what happened to my last one - CHECK
Weigh myself weekly
Take my measurements weekly
Drink a glass of V8 everyday
Have breakfast everyday
Join Weight Watchers - (?) or stay at the gym? very undecided
30 minutes of cardio daily
I am not a photographer. Even though I have artistic ability, it has never been fine tuned. If you see something on here that belongs to you, SPEAK UP, and, instead of being a piss ant about it and getting a lawyer, get in touch with me and I'll take it down.
If you don't like what I say, close the browser window and move on with your life.
I reserve the right to mule kick anyone who gives away my personal information, such as but not limited to, my real first and last name, my address, the city I live in, where I work, and how much I really weigh.
If you are a lawyer and you want to make recommendations about other things I should have in this disclaimer then inbox me and we'll talk. But it better be for free.