Thursday, April 15, 2010

Blog Nazi

I don't think you know this, but I am all over this blog like white on rice.

And tonight, in my inebriated state, I am taking the time to blog you rather than get the six hours of sleep I so desperately need.

Tonight, I considered being a home wrecker.

I know what you're saying! "J-Bird, you're so awesome. You don't need to steal another woman's man. You can get your own". But I'll tell you this. When a man looks at you and says, "Come to the lounge. I'll buy you a drink. I'll buy you two drinks. I'll pour your wine. I'll even find your Cheerios". (that last part is an inside joke). That's when you go and when you go you kind of expect a Cheerios hunt. He's a boob man for Chrissake! I've got this on lock!!

Wanna know what Igot? I got the "church hug". The one with your ass waaaaayyy ooooooouuutt theeeeeeeere. That hug. And the speech on how his wife's birthday was yesterday. Did you know that she called twice? I'm not a homewrecker; please don't think that.

But, I didn't invite myself for drinks. And I didn't wink at myself. And I didn't buy me three very strong mixed drinks. I also didn't leave myself in the lobby alone. I know that if it weren't me it would be someone else. And you've never met him before, it'd be worth doing with only 140 days left on the tally.

Which reminds me, a factory employee informed that I'm too good for where I am and that I'll never get more if I don't just take it. It also helps that I'm a double minority. I put Taylor Lautner's face on him and started fantasizing like crazy.

So, that's it for tonight. There are at least 5 more coming your way including one called "Pwned!" or "Bitch Reppy". I haven't yet decided on a title. Love you guys! and Happy Thursday. Remember to be thankful.... I did.

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