Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Party Foul!

Three times a year our entire salesforce is taken out of the field and forced to sit for 3 days. This sucks.

Now, you that person that's loud, boisterous, has tons of great and unbelievable stories, and is always the life of the party? That person is probably in sales. So imagine a party with 30 of those people in a room with free liquor. Awwwwwwwwwwwww Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!

Our group is legendary. We once ran up a $500 bar tab. We manage to get crazy drunk, sleep with each other, and still break super sonic sales barriers every ear. In short, we 'da shit.

But lately, we've been getting frown face for doing what we do best - drinking.

Our company didn't think it was enough to give us the two drink speech (which they did). Instead, they told the restaurant (and not us) that only the first drink would be on the company tab.

When the server delivered this news, we thought she was huffing barbeque fumes. But she was serious. That's fine. We rebelled. If I have to pay then eff two drinks! Most of us went for three - the brave ones had four and five.

Dinner came and went. Desserts of Strawberry Shortcake and Chocolate Dreams flowed before us. We were transported to the magic land of satiation. That's when the checks came. All of them - the main one and the seperate ones for extra drinks. Everybody got a check... including our vendors.

The salespeople were disgusted. (Do you know what we get paid versus what we bring in to this company?!? And we only get 6 free meals a year out these people. WTF!) The vendors seemed horrifyingly insulted (as they should be). And management? Well, they had whole chicken butts on their faces.

The VP gets all sputter-mouthed and chokes on his Diet Coke. "This can't be right." "We never made this direction." "This is a huge mistake." "Give all the checks to me."

Now, I don't know about you but I was a server once. And I remember some of the crazy stuff people used to ask for. I didn't protest, I just did it. Why? Because they paid my bills. So I can guar-on-effing-tee that this girl didn't aim to embarrass the man paying the tab. Funny how some things work themselves out, isn't it?

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