Not Another Theme Day

I see that Random Thoughts Tuesday is all the rage. I am not a follower and I don't think I can handle another theme day; one is exhausting so I will post for you "What's on J-Bird's Mind: A Frightening Look Into Her Inner Sanctum". You're welcome.

Why are boys/men so stupid? Here I am, freaking out because I'm over 25 and this is the age that I promised myself that I would settle the eff down and focus on having a family and they have the audacity to question my ability to commit or to say crazy shit like "It's not a question of if I want to, but rather, should I". I almost hit his face with my fist.

Family secrets hurt. I have one that I kept for almost 11 years. I told Nat on Sunday and you know what? It didn't make me feel any better. It's been so long that I've held this secret that that part of me is dead now so it's almost like it didn't make a difference. At least not to me. To her it meant everything.

CBS111 can go to hell for the song she just put in my head.

Lying and cheating are unacceptable. Even if you're my father. So when you say that you're with your girlfriend and you're not leaving her, then you say you went on two dates but its' not cheating I become confused. I don't care if she's doing two more tours before she comes home. Cheating is cheating. So don't give me this crap about how the two of you broke up before she left because I don't believe that either. Liar face.

My mom is on Facebook and even though she could write the app that the entire system runs on she can't figure out how to accept your friendship.

Grammy calls Facebook "Faceplace" as in, "J-Bird! Did you know that you're on Faceplace?".

I've started to use clinical strength deodorant. I'm only posting this so that the rest of you chronic sweaters will realize that there is no shame in accepting help. My pits have been so dry that at first, I thought I had a hormone problem. It's nice to feel normal for a change.

I made the Scorpio a cake and sent it home with him. Now, I want my plate back.

Someone called me today and they were having sushi for lunch. I actually cried because 1. I don't trust sushi in this state. Where could they be getting the seafood from as we don't have any bodies of water. 2. I'm at least 20 minutes from a good sushi bar. 3. The thought of Kroger sushi makes me mentally throw up.

Jealousy is not a good color on me.

I had a dream about what my baby would look like. And I called her Frankie. I miss her even though she's not here yet.

I'm back in the candle business because people want to buy from me and I believe that you should give the people what they want.

I almost had sex on Friday. I say almost because I totally freaked out at the thought of having sex with someone. It's been awhile by choice and I didn't want to ruin my "No sex without monogamy" streak over some piercing green eyes. It's pretty bad when you grab your top and say, "No! I can't do this"

Him: *chuckle* Ok.

Me: I'm serious.

Him: Why?

Me: It's been months.

Him: *chuckle*

Me: *blink*

Him: Well, it's like riding a bike. I'll show you.

Me: I want monogamy. I want to be in a relationship with the person I'm intimate with.

Him: *gets off of me*

It just occured to me that Mother's Day is in less than two weeks and all I could say in response to that was, "Ain't that about a bitch!".