Double Penetration

This is my first drunk post. And I need to be drunk because the alternative is to be livid. Maybe I can still be slightly entertaining when I'm drunk.

Here's how it all went down:

Cam was on my nerves. Disability or no (and yes, he has one) he was restless and worst, he was rude. The 'rents - and the rest of the family for that matter - have been using his disability as an excuse for a long time. And I'm sick of it because even if he is progressing later than others he is at a point in his development that he knows right from wrong and knows how to be polite.

Anyways, I was walking through the mall completely flanked with 6 foot plus men ('cause that's how I roll) and I get my shoulder grabbed. Everybody stops doing what they're doling and my name comes out of his lips -- the trainer's lips. Yes, it was an ex boyfriend. And he was there looking so good and buff and attached to some other chick. Do I want him back? No. Would I have sex with him in front of her? Heeeelllllllllllllllllsssssssssss yeah!

Me: Trainer, this is my dad. Dad, this is Trainer.

Trainer: Nice to meet you, Sir.

Dad: Trainer, huh?

*pause*

*pause*

*pause*

Trainer: Uh, I guess you've heard about me? You're looking like you've heard about me.

Dad: *death stare with pulled back fist*

Me: Good things! All good things, I swear. Right, dad?

Then Trainer hands me a business card, gives me a very dirty (I still feel violated) once over, and tells me that he'll call me. In front of her and my dad and my brothers and even my cousin. And I stare and think about all the dirty things we used to do and that I'd be game for right now if my dad wasn't sitting next to me on the couch. Sigh.

Then, there was the phone call from hell that really was the voicemail from hell because he called while I was keeping dad from punching Trainer.

Yes, it was another ex. And yes. It was the African.

I put it like that becuase you may or may not know him as the man who 1.Told me that I was not marriage material. 2. Told me that I would learn to obey him. and 3. Is the only man, to this day, to put his hands on me violently.

He called and worse, he left a message. And then he called again and I picked up. I'm such a fucking idiot. He wants me to have dinner with him. I'm floored. Because aft3er all that we went through I still can't tell him to go fucking jump off a bridge. What I did say was, "I can't. I don't eat". I'm sure he's not believing that right now.

Now, it's important that you know that Dad and Ethan are the ones who packed my belongings when I was ready to leave. And had he shown his face when they were looking, he probably would've died in the mall tonight.

So, I'm sitting here trying not to close my eyes because I'm afraid to relive this day.

Instead, I'm putting vodka in my bloodstream and Chex Mix in my belly.

Pray for me y'all. This midwestern girl really needs it.